


lodestar

by phori



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward Kissing, Childhood Trauma, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket, Not Canon Compliant - The Homestuck Epilogues, Post-Canon, References to Depression, Trans Female John Egbert, We Live(d) in a Society and it Totally Sucked Actually - The Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25147609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phori/pseuds/phori
Summary: June and Terezi chat about childhood trauma, society, Matthew McCounaughey's various sexual accolades, and what it means to grow up. Also, they make out.
Relationships: June Egbert/Terezi Pyrope
Comments: 16
Kudos: 43





	lodestar

Your name is JUNE EGBERT.

It's been about a year since you arrived at Earth C - name still pending, of course. (Jade had been pushing for Zootopia for a while, until Roxy pulled her aside and gently told her about the 2016 Disney furry copaganda flick which shared the name. It was hard on her, but she accepted Roxy's rebuttal nonetheless, so you're all pretty much at square one re: names.) Civilization is slowly but surely getting itself started, under the gentle guidance of you, your friends, and your alchemized copy of THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO. Because leaving your new world to fast-forward thousands of years right into capitalism again would be wholly irresponsible and extremely depressing!

It's important that you set the groundwork for society before you can time-travel to when they've invented milkshakes again, and from Rose's estimation, you'll only need to stick around to supervise for another few months until society can pretty much steer itself, with occasional surprise visits from you and your friends to make sure everything's on track.

Honestly, you've been more of a figurehead for your burgeoning civilization than any sort of prophet or guiding force like your friends. Politics have never been even remotely in your wheelhouse - you're perfectly happy with leaving that to the Striders and the talking points that they gleaned from half-remembered Wikipedia binges, while Jane and Rose do the majority of the actual work on that front. The miracles you've performed for the people you're apparently supposed to reign over, which is still a mind-boggling thought for you, have been limited to the occasional thumbs-up at a passing carapacian and not much else.

Despite your relative lack of involvement compared to everyone else, you're still exhausted by the constant, looming responsibilities of godhood. So you're grateful to finally have a minute to yourself, sitting on a grassy cliffside, leaning back on your hands to watch the stars. It's nice to finally get some time to yourself, because you love your friends, but they can really be a lot sometimes!

In general, though, you've been feeling... off, recently. You're not really sure why. Everyone else seems to be doing just fine, and really, nothing bad even happened recently? Your friends are all here. They're all happy. What more could you possibly ask for?

You're not sure. You've never been too great at introspection, though, so you tuck those thoughts away in a dark corner, and prepare for a nice, quiet evening of stargazing.

TEREZI: H3Y  


Oh god dammit.

JUNE: oh. hey, terezi.

You bite back a sigh. It's not that you don't like Terezi or anything, you just don't know if you can handle being around another person right now. And, like all of your friends, she can be a bit pushy. But it's only been a month since Terezi returned from blasting off on her Vriska journey, sad but with a determined set to her jaw, and with everything that's been happening recently, you kind of miss talking to her. She was always blunt, acerbic, intelligent. Demanding, which annoyed you and made you feel relieved in equal measure. Most of your friends are so weird and cryptic. But Terezi has always been easy for you to understand.

Maybe it'll be nice to sit with her for a bit. Besides, you don't want to be weird and ask her to leave, so instead, you silently tilt your head back and stare at her for a second. She stares back for a moment, until she picks her way across the grassy cliff with her cane and settles herself beside you wordlessly.

JUNE:  
TEREZI:   
JUNE:  
TEREZI:  
TEREZI: WH4TS UP  
JUNE: oh, yknow, not much!  
JUNE: just, um, thinking.  
TEREZI: HM  
TEREZI: TH4T 1S UNUSU4L 4ND V4GU3LY CONC3RN1NG  
JUNE: hey!  
JUNE: i think too sometimes!!!  
TEREZI: JUN3 ON3 OF YOUR PR1M4RY TR41TS 1S TH4T YOU R3FUS3 TO PUT CR1T1C4L THOUGHT 1NTO L1T3R4LLY 4NYTH1NG  
TEREZI: YOUR B4FFL1NG CH33RFULN3SS 1N TH3 F4C3 OF QU1T3 L1T3R4LLY 3V3RYTH1NG 1S ON3 OF TH3 F3W 4SSUR4NC3S W3 H4V3 1N TH1S N3W UN1V3RS3  
TEREZI: W4T3R 1S ST1LL W3T  
TEREZI: D4V3 4ND K4RK4T W1LL UNKNOW1NGLY COCKBLOCK 34CH OTH3R 1NTO 3T3RN1TY  
TEREZI: JUN3 3GB3RTS BR41N 1S COMPOS3D 3NT1R3LY OF M4TTH3W MCCON4UGH3Y TR1V14 4ND V3RY L1TTL3 3LS3  
TEREZI: 1T 1S NOT 4N 1NSULT, JUST 4 UN1V3RS4L TRUTH  
TEREZI: SO 1 4M 4 L1TTL3 CUR1OUS 4S TO WHY NOW OF 4LL T1M3S YOU 4R3  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 QUOT3  
TEREZI: "TH1NK1NG"  
JUNE: ...  
JUNE: did you know he was named sexiest man alive in 2005?  
TEREZI: YOU 4R3 FOOL1NG NOON3  
JUNE: ugh, ok, fine.  
JUNE: i just...  
JUNE: sigh.  
JUNE: i dunno. it's probably kinda dumb.  
JUNE: but i am prone to saying dumb stuff anyways, so whatever.  
TEREZI: >:P

You sigh. You really don't see a way out of this insanely awkward incoming conversation, so you forge on, hoping that maybe she'll get uncomfortable and leave or something.

JUNE: i guess i... miss my dad?  
JUNE: which, wow, stop the presses! "local depressed girl is depressed about stuff. she is also an orphan, and is sad about that too!"  
JUNE: it's been almost four years. i don't know when i am going to get over it.  
JUNE: i don't even know IF i am going to get over it.  
JUNE: and it's not like i have complicated feelings toward my dad or anything?  
JUNE: he wasn't a deadbeat, he wasn't an alcoholic, he didn't throw me off roofs. he was just a pretty average guy, all things considered.  
JUNE: so why do i feel so weird when i think about him?  
JUNE: i don't even know if i miss him, or if it's something else.  
TEREZI: >:?  
TEREZI: L1K3 WH4T  
JUNE: aargh, i don't know!!!!!!!!  
JUNE: like, i know i miss him. i miss him a lot. i want to see him again.  
JUNE: but even if it was possible, i also wouldn't want to  
JUNE: because i feel like things would be different somehow?  
JUNE: which is dumb, because i have talked to jane's dad, and he's cool, i guess.  
JUNE: but it's different with MY dad.  
JUNE: sigh.  
TEREZI: YOU SUR3 4R3 S1GH1NG 4 LOT  
JUNE: look, terezi, not to be an asshole, but i don't think you really get it.  
JUNE: i mean, you didn't really have a dad. you had a weird alien dragon egg, but that was it.  
JUNE: so you didn't really have anyone to worry about disappointing!  
TEREZI: WOW JUN3  
TEREZI: 3V3RY T1M3 YOU S4Y "NOT TO B3 4N 4SSHOL3" 1 PR3P4R3 FOR TH3 WORST  
TEREZI: 4ND Y3T 1 4M SOM3HOW ST1LL SHOCK3D BY HOW MUCH OF 4 J3RK YOU 4R3! >:[  
JUNE: yeah, that was out of line, sorry.  
TEREZI: 1TS WH4T3V3R  
TEREZI: W4NT TO H34R MY W31RD 4L13N P3RSP3CT1V3  
JUNE: sure, go for it.  
TEREZI: W3LL 1 GU3SS 1 G3T WH4T YOUR3 S4Y1NG  
TEREZI: K1ND OF  
TEREZI: ON 4LT3RN14, TH3 CONC3PT OF H4V1NG 4 DOT1NG LUSUS W4S L4UGH4BL3 4T B3ST 4ND 4 D34TH S3NT3NC3 4T WORST  
TEREZI: 4ND L1K3 MOST TH1NGS ON 4LT3RN14 1T USU4LLY 3ND3D UP 4S TH3 WORST C4S3 SC3N4R1O  
TEREZI: WH4T GOOD 1S H4V1NG SOM3ON3 TO P4T YOU ON TH3 H34D 4ND T3LL YOU GOOD JOB WH3N YOU WON'T H4V3 4 H34D FOR LONG 1F YOU C4NT PROT3CT YOURS3LF?  
TEREZI: MY LUSUS N3V3R H4TCH1NG M34NT 1 PR3TTY MUCH H4D TO R41S3 MYS3LF  
TEREZI: WH1CH 1RON1C4LLY L1K3LY S4V3D MY SK1N  
TEREZI: YKNOW  
TEREZI: JUST NORM4L K1D STUFF L1K3 TH4T  
JUNE: man.  
JUNE: i know it's been exploded for a while now, but your planet really sucked!  
TEREZI: USU4LLY 1 WOULD KNOCK YOU FOR B31NG CULTUR4LLY 1NS3NS1T1V3  
TEREZI: BUT YOU KNOW WH4T  
TEREZI: Y34H 1T K1ND4 D1D SUCK  
TEREZI: WH3N 1 W4S 4 K1D 1 W4S SO C4UGHT UP 1N 1T 4LL  
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT 1 W4NT3D TO B3 4 L3G1SL4C3R4TOR  
TEREZI: TO KNOCK SOM3 H34DS 4ND PROT3CT JUST1C3  
TEREZI: TO R34D TROLLS TH31R NON3X1ST3NT R1GHTS WH1L3 ST4ND1NG OV3R TH31R ST1LL W4RM CORPS3S  
JUNE: (ew, gross!)  
TEREZI: PL34S3 TRY TO K33P YOUR D3L1C4T3 HUM4N S3NS1B1L1T13S 1N CH3CK  
TEREZI: 4NYW4YS  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS 1V3 B33N R3TH1NK1NG 1T R3C3NTLY  
TEREZI: WH4T 1 W4NT  
TEREZI: 4ND HOW MUCH OF TH4T 1S 4CTU4LLY WH4T 1 W4NT  
TEREZI: NOT JUST TH3 R3MN4NTS OF 4 LONG D34D SOC13TY 1N TH3 B4CK OF MY M1ND T3LL1NG M3 WHO TO B3  
TEREZI: FORC1NG M3 TO CONFORM TO SOM3TH1NG TH4T NOT ONLY DO3SNT M4TT3R NOW  
TEREZI: BUT M4YB3 N3V3R R34LLY M4TT3R3D 4T 4LL  
JUNE: ...  
JUNE: yeah.  


Terezi looks older, somehow, as she sits there with her knees tucked up to her chest. You can't even imagine the world she's describing, so alien to your idyllic childhood in every possible way. Obviously, you knew most of the facts of Alternian life, but it never really hit you how many scars your friend still bears from a time before you even knew her. You wish you knew what to say.

TEREZI: SO 1 TH1NK TH3 4NSW3R 1S TH4T  
TEREZI: D3SP1T3 WH4T OUR R3SP3CT1V3 BULLSH1T SOC13T13S TOLD US 4LL OUR L1V3S  
TEREZI: 4ND R3G4RDL3SS OF HOW CONTR1T3 1T SOUNDS  
TEREZI: TH3R3 1S NO R1GHT 4NSW3R  
TEREZI: NON3 OF US KNOW WH4T W3 W4NT OR WH4T W3R3 DO1NG  
TEREZI: BUT W3 H4V3 TO F1GUR3 1T OUT 4NYW4YS  
TEREZI: M4YB3 TH4TS WH4T 1T M34NS TO B3 4N 4DULT  
JUNE: wow. that was pretty deep.  
JUNE:  
JUNE: so, um...  
JUNE: you're saying that i should just stop worrying, right?  
TEREZI: NO 1D1OT  
JUNE: oh, okay.  
TEREZI: LOOK H3R3S WH4T 1M S4Y1NG  
TEREZI: YOUR "D4D"-  
JUNE: i can hear the air quotes you just put around dad. you don't need to put air quotes around the word dad.  
TEREZI: OK4Y  
TEREZI: YOUR 4DULT M4L3 HUM4N LUSUS-  
JUNE: that is so much worse. you know that, right? you know you just made it so much worse?  
TEREZI: -KN3W YOU FOR WH4T, TH1RT33N Y34RS?  
TEREZI: 4ND FOR 4 LOT OF THOS3 Y34RS YOU W3R3 JUST SOM3 BR41NL3SS W1GGL3R WHO P1SS3D 4ND SH4T 4ND CR13D 4ND D1DNT KNOW HOW TO DO 4NYTH1NG 3LS3  
TEREZI: 4CTU4LLY, TH4TS PROB4BLY TRU3 FOR 4LL TH1RT33N OF THOS3 Y34RS  
JUNE: hey!!! :(  
TEREZI: H3H3H3 >:]  
TEREZI: WH4T 1M S4Y1NG 1S TH4T YOUR HUM4N D4D DO3SNT KNOW YOU  
TEREZI: H3 N3V3R R34LLY GOT TH3 CH4NC3 TO  
TEREZI: 1N TH3 T1M3 B3TW33N TH3N 4ND NOW YOU H4V3 T4K3N TH3 BOUND4R13S OF WH4T MOST HUM4NS L1K3LY THOUGHT POSS1BL3 4ND BROK3N TH3M 1NTO 4 M1LL1ON T1NY 1NSUFF3R4BL3 P13C3S  
TEREZI: FOR 4LL TH4T H3 M4Y H4V3 HUM4N LOV3D YOU, 4ND M4Y H4V3 W4NT3D TO KNOW YOU 4S YOU GR3W UP, H3 DO3SNT KNOW YOU 4NYMOR3  
TEREZI: 4ND M4YB3 H3 N3V3R R34LLY D1D  
TEREZI: YOU C4NT SP3ND FOR3V3R CH4S1NG 4 GHOST  
TEREZI: SCR34M1NG YOURS3LF HO4RS3 FOR SOM3ON3 WHO M1GHT NOT 3V3N H34R YOU  
TEREZI: SOM3ON3 WHO, FOR B3TT3R OR FOR WORS3, W1LL N3V3R SHOUT B4CK  
JUNE: um, not to derail you and stuff,  
JUNE: but i feel like we are not really talking about my dad anymore.  


Terezi's eyes widen momentarily, as if surprised that you called her out, but then they soften.

TEREZI: W3LP  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS NOT  
JUNE: yeah.  
JUNE: you really liked her, huh?  
TEREZI: NO  
TEREZI: 1 LOV3D H3R  
TEREZI: 4ND TO B3 P3RF3CTLY HON3ST 1 ST1LL DO  
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK 1 4LW4YS W1LL 4T L34ST 4 L1TTL3 B1T  
TEREZI: WH3N 1 W4S W1TH H3R 3V3RYTH1NG M4D3 S3NS3 1N 4 W4Y 1T N3V3R D1D B3FOR3  
TEREZI: BUT 1 F3LT L1K3 1 W4S 4LW4YS RUNN1NG B3H1ND  
TEREZI: TRY1NG D3SP3R4T3LY TO C4TCH UP TO H3R  
TEREZI: B3C4US3 1 WOULDNT L3T MYS3LF W4LK B3S1D3 H3R 1NST34D  
TEREZI: 1N TH4T W4Y, 1 TH1NK W3 W3R3 BOTH V3RY, V3RY LON3LY  
TEREZI: DONT TH1NK 1M G1V1NG UP ON VR1SK4 BY COM1NG TO 34RTH C  
TEREZI: WH3N SH3 R3TURNS 1TLL B3 ON3 OF TH3 B3ST D4YS OF MY L1F3  
TEREZI: BUT 1 C4NT M4K3 H3R DO 4NYTH1NG SH3 DO3SNT W4NT TO DO  
TEREZI: SH3LL R3TURN WH3N SH3S R34DY  
TEREZI: SO 1 JUST H4V3 TO B3 R34DY FOR H3R  
TEREZI: 1N TH3 M34NT1M3, 1 N33D TO F1GUR3 OUT WH4T 1 W4NT  
TEREZI: 1TS TH3 L34ST 1 C4N DO FOR H3R 4ND MYS3LF  
JUNE: it sounds like you have got it all figured out, though?  
TEREZI: NOT R34LLY  
TEREZI: R3M3MB3R, 1 4M TH3 S33R OF M1ND  
TEREZI: WH1CH PR3TTY MUCH M34NS 1V3 TOT4LLY GOT 1T TOG3TH3R 1N TH3ORY  
TEREZI: BUT 1N PR4CT1C3?  
TEREZI: ST1LL WORK1NG ON 1T  
JUNE: ok, that makes sense, heheh.  
JUNE: you have obviously spent a lot of time thinking about this, though.  
TEREZI: B31NG 4LON3 1N TH3 VO1D B3TW33N UN1V3RS3S FOR N34RLY 4 Y34R DO3S G1V3 YOU 4 LOT OF T1M3 TO R3FL3CT  
JUNE: i just don't even know where to begin!  
JUNE: i still just feel like some stupid kid  
JUNE: a stupid kid who is way in over her head.  
JUNE: i always have been! i just trusted that you guys knew what you were doing, and would tell me what to do.  
JUNE: i was not a good leader!  
JUNE: and i am not saying that as a weird self deprecation thing, it is just true.  
TEREZI: B31NG 4 GOOD L34D3R 1SNT 4BOUT BOSS1NG P3OPL3 4ROUND  
TEREZI: 1TS 4BOUT K33P1NG 3V3RYON3 TOG3TH3R  
TEREZI: 1 4M NOT 4 L34D3R BUT 1 DO 4 GR34T JOB T3LL1NG P3OPL3 WH4T TO DO 4NYW4YS! >:]  
JUNE: heheh, yeah.  
TEREZI: GO1NG BY YOUR M3TR1C, VR1SK4 W4S 4 GOOD L34D3R  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 TH1NK YOU 4ND 1 BOTH KNOW TH4T 1S NOT 3SP3C14LLY TRU3  
TEREZI: SH3 1S SM4RT, DR1V3N, 4ND GO4L OR13NT3D  
TEREZI: BUT SH3 COULDNT M4K3 P3OPL3 L1ST3N TO H3R  
TEREZI: MOSTLY B3C4US3 SH3 1S 4 COLOSS4L B1TCH  
JUNE: wait, i thought you liked her???  
TEREZI: 1 4M S4PPH1C JUN3  
TEREZI: NOT STUP1D  
JUNE: ok, fair enough.  
TEREZI: M4YB3 YOU W3R3 4 B4D L34D3R  
TEREZI: BUT HON3STLY?  
TEREZI: WHO G1V3S 4 SH1T  
TEREZI: W3 COULD 4LL S1T DOWN 4ND COMP1L3 4N 3XT3NS1V3 L1ST OF TH1NGS W3 TOT4LLY FUCK3D UP 1N OUR S3SS1ONS  
TEREZI: 3V3RY N33DL3SS D34TH, 3V3RY CYCL1C4L 4RGUM3NT TH4T D1D NOTH1NG BUT W4ST3 TH3 L1M1T3D T1M3 W3 H4D W1TH P3OPL3 W3 D1DNT KNOW W3D SOON B3 MOURN1NG  
TEREZI: WH4T WOULD CH4NG3  
TEREZI: W3R3 1N TH3 3NDG4M3 31TH3R W4Y  
TEREZI: TH3R3S NO GO1NG B4CK  
JUNE: i know!  
JUNE: but i can't stop thinking about it anyways.  
JUNE: what would he say, if he saw me now?  
JUNE: it's not even a matter of "would he be proud or not?"  
JUNE: because my dad was a good guy, and he loved me, and i think he would still love me.  
JUNE: but sometimes, i wake up, and i look in the mirror, and i feel like i'm not that same kid he used to know.  
JUNE: well, obviously i'm different now. i'm a god. and also a girl.  
TEREZI: (4 V3RY PR3TTY G1RL)  
JUNE: :o  
JUNE: but on a more... fundamental level? i feel different.  
JUNE: it is not a bad different! when i think about when i was thirteen, though, i just can't help but think...  
JUNE: what WAS that????????  
JUNE: i was so fucking weird!!!  
JUNE: and yeah, like, all thirteen year olds are deeply weird, but i wanted to act like everything was normal so bad, even when it wasn't???  
JUNE: it took me *two years* to sit down and cry after my dad died.  
JUNE: like, what the fuck! why did it take so long? how did i manage to keep it together?  
JUNE: and when i did cry, it just felt like i was going through the motions  
JUNE: even though i really did miss him?  
JUNE: now it feels like he's all i can think about. :(  
JUNE: it always felt like there was a wall between me and everything else  
JUNE: but i get upset so easily now  
JUNE: you know jake's shitty cologne that he really likes?  
TEREZI: Y34H, 1T ST1NKS L1K3 SH1T  
JUNE: yeah!! every time i smell it, it makes me think about the cologne my dad used to wear, and i just. :(  
JUNE: and i can hardly even be around jane any more?  
JUNE: because obviously i know that her dad and my dad are not the same guy  
JUNE: but every time i see him, i feel like i'm thirteen years old, standing on that weird checkers planet where i found him...  
JUNE: you know.  
JUNE: for the first time in my life, i feel everything so deeply  
JUNE: and honestly?  
JUNE: it is kind of terrifying!  
TEREZI: BUT 1SNT 1T K1ND OF N1C3, TOO  
TEREZI: TO F1N4LLY, FOR ONC3 1N YOUR L1F3, B3 HON3ST W1TH YOURS3LF  
JUNE: hm. i dunno.  
JUNE: but...  
JUNE: i guess it is nice to talk to you like this. :)  
TEREZI: DONT G3T M3 WRONG, D34L1NG W1TH 4LL TH1S BLOWS  
TEREZI: BUT 1 TH1NK 1T M34NS W3 4R3 ST4RT1NG TO H34L  
TEREZI: 4ND W3 4R3 ST4RT1NG TO GROW UP  
TEREZI: ON NOBODYS T3RMS 3XC3PT OUR OWN >:]  
JUNE: i guess so.

You sit there under the stars together in comfortable silence. The constellations are strange and unfamiliar, and it hits you suddenly that you are an alien, here, and always will be. But so is Terezi, and so is Jade, and Dave, and Rose, and Jane and her dad and all the rest of your friends. Somehow, that helps you feel a little less lonely.

Impulsively, you reach for Terezi's hand. She startles a little at the touch, before relaxing into a smile. It isn't her trademark crocodile's grin, but instead, a soft smirk as she grabs back.

TEREZI: K33P 1T TOG3TH3R 3GB3RT  
JUNE: yeah, yeah, whatever you say.

She wraps her hand around yours decisively, her pointed nails poking into the backside of your hand. Her palm is sweaty.

JUNE: heh. keep it together, pyrope!  
TEREZI: SHUT UP

Holy shit. Did she just stutter?

You suddenly feel way in over your head. There's a pretty girl holding your hand under the stars, but doesn't she have a crush on another girl? Is she flirting with you? Are you flirting back? Is this even allowed? Why is she holding your hand???

You decide you may as well ask.

JUNE: h-hey terezi.  
TEREZI: WH4T  
JUNE: um, are you...  
JUNE: is this...  
JUNE: do we...  
JUNE: i mean, should i-  
TEREZI: W4NN4 M4K3 OUT  
JUNE: wh-what??? is that even-  
TEREZI: Y3S OR NO QU3ST1ON 3GB3RT  
TEREZI: DONT OV3RTH1NK 1T JUST Y3S OR NO  
JUNE: um, i, um...  
JUNE: y-yeah. let's, uh...  
JUNE: ...do some kissing?  
TEREZI: S1CK

She leans forward abruptly, smacking her face into yours and only stopping herself a moment before it becomes a full headbutt. Her mouth is a bit misaligned with yours, more touching your cheek than your lips, and you take her chin in one hand.

JUNE: here, uh,  
JUNE: you missed a bit

You gently tilt her face and align it with yours.

TEREZI: TH4NKS

She grins at you with razor-sharp teeth, and leans forward.

JUNE: !!

Terezi kisses you gently, first, probing your lips with hers. You're peripherally aware of her left hand - the one you aren't holding - tangling itself in your hair, but you're mostly occupied by her lips, chapped and sweet against yours. Without any warning, Terezi twists your hair in her fingers and pulls you closer, parting her lips slightly. You mimic her without thinking, and start really kissing her: not chaste, closed-mouth pecks, but slow, open kisses. She tastes like cherry cough syrup. You've never seen someone so beautiful in your life.

You're suddenly overwhelmed by the idea of what you're doing, and you pull back without thinking. Terezi makes a surprised noise, but she pulls back as well, letting go of your hand as she makes a few inches of distance between her face and yours.

Terezi's expressions have always been easy to read - it's part of what makes her so refreshing to you - and you search, desperately, for the disappointment you know will be there. But her mouth is pressed into a soft line, and her eyebrows are furrowed, not in anger, but in uncharacteristic concern.

TEREZI: 4R3 YOU OK4Y  
JUNE: um...  
JUNE: yeah.  
JUNE: yeah, no, i'm fine.  
JUNE: but more importantly,  
JUNE: is this, like,  
JUNE: alright???  
TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU M34N  
JUNE: you know!!  
JUNE: us kissing and stuff  
JUNE: are you sure that's okay??  
TEREZI: 1F YOU DONT W4NT TO TH4TS F1N3  
TEREZI: 4ND 1F YOU W4NT TO TH4TS 4LSO F1N3  
TEREZI: 3V3N 1F YOU W4NT TO 4T SOM3 PO1NT JUST NOT R1GHT NOW 1M OK4Y W1TH TH4T  
TEREZI: BUT R1GHT NOW TH3R3 1S NOBODY H3R3 BUT US JUN3  
TEREZI: NOBODY TO WORRY 4BOUT  
TEREZI: NOBODY TO 1MPR3SS  
TEREZI: 1 W4NT TO K1SS YOU  
TEREZI: BUT 1TS YOUR CHO1C3  
TEREZI: W3 C4N GO 4S F4ST OR 4S SLOW 4S YOU W4NT  
TEREZI: SO  
TEREZI: DO YOU W4NT TH1S  
JUNE: ...

It's startling to be wanted like this. But there is no lie in Terezi's sightless gaze, no hesitation in her body language.

She wants this. Beautiful, intelligent, morbid Terezi, with her hyena laughter and steadfast stare, wants you.

JUNE: if you're sure you're okay with this,  
JUNE: yeah.  
JUNE: i want this. :)  
TEREZI: OH TRUST M3 1M SUR3

Again, she leans into you, slowly plying you with gentle pecks until your mouths meet. Your teeth click together awkwardly as you kiss slowly, and you realize that, for all her bravado, Terezi probably hasn't done this many times, either.

Knowing that Terezi's pretty new to this as well settles something within you, as you gently start to run your hands along her face.

Kissing Terezi is warm, and strange, and sickly sweet, and you follow her lead for a moment longer until you part again.

JUNE: um, that was,  
JUNE: wow.  
TEREZI: "WOW" 1ND33D YOU DORK  
TEREZI: >;]  
JUNE: are we, like,  
JUNE: dating now???  
TEREZI: 1 DUNNO  
TEREZI: W4NN4 G1V3 1T 4 SHOT  
JUNE: yeah, sure!  
TEREZI: OK4Y, COOL

Once again, you sit in silence by her side. It's not awkward, though: it's a gentle quiet, giving you space to think while softly reminding you that you're not alone.

Terezi leans her head against your shoulder. Her horns poke awkwardly into your cheek, so you tilt your head away. Your neck is craned at an uncomfortable angle, but the point of contact between you and her is warm, so you can't find it in yourself to complain too much.

The stars here are unfamiliar to you, a grand, uncharted sky stretching before you. Even though you don't know this galaxy, it was crafted by your hands, by the hands of your friends. It frightens you a bit to think about, but the potential of it all is intoxicating nonetheless. A whole star chart of future constellations for you to draw spreads itself before you. Infinite choices. Infinite possibilities. An eternity to figure things out, and make things right.

You look down at Terezi gently, and can't help the goofy smile that spreads across your lips.

JUNE: you know what?  
TEREZI: WH4T  
JUNE: i think you're right.  
JUNE: i think we will all be ok. :)

**Author's Note:**

> vriska, upon returning from the void two weeks later and having some awkward chats with june and terezi: Dou8le girlfriends? Hell yeah!!!!!!!!
> 
> i haven't written homestuck fic in ages, but goddamn junerezi just keeps bringing me back every time. i love them so much, so i really hope i did them justice!!!
> 
> thank you to my dear friend [CostcoOfYourDreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CostcoOfYourDreams) for cheering me on. i love you!!!
> 
> find me on twitter [@denjiiii](https://twitter.com/denjiiii) <3


End file.
